Monday

It’s the first day of college for me and my best friend Aria. To be honest, I don’t like September - I- I mean- It doesn’t even make sense as a name. Sept as in seven... And yet it's the ninth month, I mean that’s just ridiculous. Well, I also don’t like school- but I still go to college… I don’t... know why. It’s... just because my mum wanted me to go, probably. Plus, without Aria, I wouldn’t have… Her smile whenever she talked about college always made me feel warm inside. I wouldn’t be bothered, it’d be too lonely without her Shut up. Ugh, anyway.
Apparently our English teacher had some controversy about her partner, but honestly I can’t be bothered with gossip. That stuff is private and complicated, it’s ridiculous! Like- imagine being that bothered about strangers, if I was that bothered about every stranger I’d be dead before I got a chance to consider myself, well, I mean like, scientifically speaking it’d be like, in a hundred years you encounter maybe a hundred thousand strangers, and to be that bothered about them it would take like a million years, or well I don’t know. Uh...
Ah, you’re kidding...
Where am I?
I’m lost… damn it all. Shit… Now I’m going to be late and then the teacher’s going to lecture me and then they’re always going to pick on me- and, like- I’m trying! Why can’t anyone see that? I mean, if they got lost we’d all just have to sit there. frankly it’s an abuse of disproportionate power and not fit for our modern society. It’d be really unfair to anyone who has any kind of problems or any disabilities, I mean, imagine if you hated waking up in the morning and it made you feel all groggy… Well, it does for me. I mean like…
Oh, you’re kidding, what am I going to do? It’s just - I can’t. It’s too late. They’re going to all hate me. I’ll have to walk in and everyone’s gonna laugh at me coming in late. I should just not arrive and say I got food poisoning the night before from my family's cooking or something, maybe I’ll make something up about my auntie, they won’t know. But - No, my mother will be annoyed at me, I don’t want her to lecture me, whenever she does, I just… I don’t want to. I can’t. What do I. Shit…
Shit… I’m stuck. I’m alone. They’ve left me behind. I’m going to be behind on everything. There’s no point even bothering with school anymore, I completely ruined it like I always do. She was correct…
Why can’t I do anything right?
I give up…

The sky outside was a drab blue, not that far from the ugly carpet I sat on as I cried, its cheap, dusty, rough and dirty aged surface probably ruining my clothes, but who cares. When you’re alone…. No one’s there to help you… obviously. I could have gotten away with staying here for hours, no one seems to come here. It was kind of warm as well. Almost comforting. I grabbed my phone from my bag and sent a text to Aria.

Sorry, Ari

I couldn’t make it.

To class I mean

Or, well, college at all I guess, I’m sorry

Oh, girl, what happened?

I…

Well I’m going to tell the college that I got sick from my aunt’s cooking or something.

I thought you didn’t have an aunt?

Well, yeah…

But, they wouldn’t listen.

They never do haha

I’m sorry.

?

Where are you right now, are you okay?

I’m kind of…

Sitting in a random corner of the college…

I got lost.

Oh

No one’s coming past so I…

I mean it’s kind of comforting

I don’t… mind it here.

Ugh, the teacher’s upset that I’m on my phone.

1s

Oh, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t get into trouble for me…

Okay, so. Here’s the plan. You get yourself comfortable there, okay?

And I’ll come join you in an hour after class

We only have two classes today, I’ll just skip the second one, I don’t care about website development LOL

I don’t- Are you sure?

Won’t you get lectured about that?

Yeah, but who cares? I get lectured over nothing

I’ll get lectured just the same so it doesn’t really affect me much LMAO

Plus, you’re definitely worth getting lectured over

Thank you, Aria

I stood up, and gazed out of the window. The college was mostly concrete, a pretty ugly building. I listened to music and watched as a lorry slowly drove in and was unloaded.

Not much else to do except… wait, I guess. I wonder what Chloe’s doing, she should be off work by now… Might as well text her.

HAHAHAH DON’T BE RIDICULOUS

WHAT DID I DO LMAOO

I’M JUST SAYING LIKE, HE’S SO BORING

YOU’RE NOT WRONG THOUGH LMFAOO

HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A TREE WOULD BE MORE PRODUCTIVE LOL

PLEASE HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

16 September, 2020

Chlo

Hi

How was ur day?

Mine’s sucked ass

Oh, tell me about it, this guy came into the shop drunk out of his mind, like… I’ve seen drunk ppl before… he was something else

Though, what’s up with you, sis?

Well, I was too scared to go to class.

So now I’m sitting on the floooor

Waiting for Ari to finish class

She said she’s gonna join me after

Oh, you two… Isn’t she gonna get in trouble?

LMAO

I mean she said she didn’t mind…

Hahah, sounds about right

You two are so useless without each other :3

I-

WHAT

WDYMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I’M VERY

WELL

HAHAHAH NO UR NOOTTTTT

I DON’T

YEA YOU DOOOO

WHEN R U GONNA REALISE LOL

Wait, realise what?

Oh, nothing

I meant like

You know

I don’t :((

be nice to me :((((

Lucy you should know this by now.

I’m evil :3

Some time later...

Aria: Lucy…?

A: Oh, there you are, pretty lady.

L: Oh… Aria… hey…

A: Hmm… You look…

L: Sad?

A: Yeah.

L: …fair.

A: What’s up, hun?

L: Well- I mean, it’s just…

L: Well.

L: Everyone else I ever see my age, they’re just doing better than me.

L: They have everything together… I just don’t.

A: Who says you have to, Lucy?

L: Me, I guess…?

A: I don’t have everything sorted.

A: That scares me. I don’t know what I’m going to do after college.

A: Sometimes I walk next to the river in town… It’s… kinda ugly there.

A: But I find it quite beautiful.

L: You sound like Chloe, haha

A: That is definitely something she would say.

A: “The contrasting tones of the blue of life bringing water and the green of the living grass against the cold and pale life brought concrete…”

L: Wow… She’s rubbing off on you… are you sure you’re actually Ari and not Chlo in disguise? Hahahaha

A: Apparently I am now, hahah

A: But, like I was saying.

A: Life’s scary…

L: Yes…

L: It’s easier… with… you around though.

A: I…

I didn’t notice, but I had started crying. I think at that moment I couldn’t- or didn’t want to deny those feelings. But she noticed…

A: Oh, Lucy…

A: Here, sit next to me.

L: The floor’s dirty… aren’t you going to get your clothes dirty…?

A: I can clean them.

L: … okay

I’ve known Aria for a long time. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t think I’m supposed to be… Would she hate me for how I feel? Mum and Dad probably would- I’d probably get kicked out and then I’d be homeless and how would I li-

A: Lulu-

SHE IS HOLDING MY HAND.

A: Do you think you’ll be alright tomorrow, maybe I can show you where each of your classes are?

L: I…

I can’t get a straight word out.

A: Haha, take your time, I just wanna make sure you know what you’re doing, if that’s what you want of course.

L: Uhm, well, I-I’d probably struggle to remember, I have quite a lot of different classes and I don’t really know where each of them is- I mean- They could be in totally different buildings even-

A: Hm, yeah, that’s reasonable, well, I can show you how to navigate the college instead then?

L: Yes, please- Ari-

A: Alright, do you have your schedule printed out like they suggest?

L: I do, my Mum made me do it-

A: Okay, let’s take a look then.

L: Hold on, let me get it out of my bag…

A: Okay, let’s see… Website Development, Spreadsheet Development, GCSE English, mhm…

A: So, these are all in the main building, you can see here where it says what block the class is in.

L: Ah- Yes-

A: Mhm.

I really like the smell of her perfume, I think it’s Vanilla? I’ve always wanted a Vanilla one, it’s like my favourite scent… I keep asking mum but she doesn’t ever get me any, it’s always me who has to…

A: You really do think a lot, hehe. Do you need anything?